xpats.com

Why you try going to church?

It's true that Germans are very good friends. They are very loyal and dependable. You know where you are with a German, and they don't lack passion either. Why don't you make a start at polyglots club?

How about participating in team sports and athletics, volunteering (!!!), cultural clubs, book clubs, participating in a theatre group, leisurely classes like pottery, drawing, music, language classes, cooking classes, joining non-profit foundations, volunteer teaching, promoting literacy, foster parenting for children, rescuing and fostering animals, book clubs, Toastmasters International, Kiwanis International, The Red Cross, Greenpeace, PETA, travel groups and organisations, dance classes, visiting and volunteering at hospitals, senior citizen rest homes, hospice work, etc etc etc . . .

The WORLD is yours . . . carpe diem!

"I'd like to know some fresh people who feel their lives are happy and purposeful."

Rock'n'roll. Get yourself out to some of the local gigs and get to know people. It helps of you start a band.

"I yearn for the company of people with some elegance and equanimity"

Feh! Grow old disgracefully and have some fun. And you'll soon loose those boring friends.

"as I get older and wiser"

You should realise that death is one step closer every day and start living while you still have the chance.

(Hmm - what am I still doing on here then?)

OP, I don't know about you, but I'm going to give the American women's Club a shot and try to meet people there. Being american is NOT a requirement.

"I'm going to give the American women's Club a shot"

Have one for me,pls.

Honestly...... I don't think your chances are increased here. Such a negative energy surrounds this site, I don't know why people are so bitter and twisted. But, I commend you on your choice and I believe that your shift in energy alone will attract the right people.

You know what I've discovered? artistic people are generally rather friendly, positive, intelligent...... so take up something artistic! and you'll meet said people.

Why don't you join us at the Imagination Club? We are a non-profit, informal group that meets twice a month to run a short, experimental workshop on some topic or another. Workshops are 90 minutes, with snacks and drinks before and after. Typically about 20-25 people of all nationalities come and we are generally an optimistic, friendly lot! Check out http://www.imaginationclub.org/brussels/ for our schedule.

Have to agree with D above. I only dip into this site very occasionally these days as I am dismayed by the unpleasantness of many of the comments posted.
I also commend you on your desire to surround yourself by happy, fulfilled, positive people - it really works for me. No advice on how to meet such people but learn to recognise them when you do and cherish them.

Why was the post about the polyglots club deleted? Seemed like a completely reasonable suggestion..........?

"I don't know why people are so bitter and twisted."

Well they are.

But I am neither.

"people with some elegance and equanimity"

Bollocks. Live. Have fun.

"I'd like to know some fresh people who feel their lives are happy and purposeful."

Sure you would. But based on the question you posted, I doubt they'd be very keen on knowing you.

Try any style or form of yoga and you will find an enlightened and positive (or positive seeking) community of people who generally care about their surroundings and others. I've traveled extensively and often take a class when in another city or country as well and always find a fantastic atmosphere that is uplifting and gives me renewed energy and spirit.

"elegance and equanimity". Well, you don't really need these characteristics in people avoid backstabbings and the petty gossip.

If I witness backstabbings and the petty gossip, I think "hmmm, if this person says these things in front of me about someone else then they are surely saying bad things about me too". Avoid these types. That's all you've got to do.

Agree about the rude, arrogant and insulting comments that will follow shortly....

Toffs the lot of you.

Nah only joking but elegance and equanimity does sound a bit OTT. Why not tea with the Queen of England?

You sound a little bit airy-fairy, arty-farty - get yourself down to Bozar for a jolly good time.

"I am dismayed by the unpleasantness of many of the comments posted"
Well, its easier to hate then to love. It requires only the basics of emotions which is why there is so much of it around. It's true that most of the artistic people I have met are quite intelligent and don't seem to relate to all the anamosity that exists socially. I am constantly amazed at the hate filled answers to what seem to be relatively benign questions.

a lot of people are angry with themselves and their lives and use this site as a form of therapy.I agree with D , your chances of finding what you are looking for on this xpats site are very low.

Steady on Dr Bob. Haven't hugged enough trees this morning?

Hate filled comments? You make this sound like a neo-nazis death blog.

I attribute my borderline, cocky comments to a mixture of immaturity and a desire to be honest. I genuinely feel that this thread smacks of haughtiness and waffle, and since this thread is open to contributions by every Tom, Dick and Harry I will reply in a manner befitting my mood, age and cultural traditions and beliefs.

Thank you and good bye

Hmmm, I understand the question but I wonder about the answer. There are no people out there exclusively as you describe them. Petty backstabbing? Honestly. How many people have friends that really do this? If you have 'grown out' of your friends, then move on but don't make it their fault. Their gossip etc probably enables them to let off steam and continue their lives/relationships with equanimity. I would also add that you haven't been a particularly good friend to them if this is the only way you can describe them.

@ A. Damn good point.

Leave By George alone Dr Bob. There is nothing wrong with him recognising genius when he reads it.

A, your solidarity touches me.

Dr Bob, tally ho! Until next time.

OP - to be frank, I think that those people who are really busy and purposefully living their lives to the full are not on this site. I have a baby and am a stay home mother so I have time to read this, but my husband, and many like him, just don't have time to login to random site during work, and after work they are busy with their families and their sports and their friends. In other words, they are out there living their lives, not living vicariously through websites and online groups and whatnot. If you want to meet those people, turn your computer off and go out there and seize life. Eventually you will run into those people youwish to meet.

@A and By George

Did not realise I was dealing with a Schizophrenic. What gave you away BY George was your choice of your alter ego "A", it's almost like you could not be bothered to come up with a better name (or maybe that is a lack of imagination on your part). But you did leave a reasonable amount of time between posts which shows a certain cunning.

Until I meet you both again, indeed tally ho eh what and all that.

Mol haven't you a bottom to clean :-) I work full time but enjoy a bit of banter now and then.

I am not just A and By George. I am everyone including you.

Well said though about clicking out of this site, switching off computer and 'seizing' life by the balls, away from the likes of you, me and the other mes.

Happy seizing. I'm off to seize a chicken sandwich! My weekend has just begun!

@ By George,
Return to your vomitarium across the channel and bring your anglo saxon vulgarity with you.

@ mol. That is a misguided, narrow minded view and treats many people unfairly. If I were in a rotten mood I would ask you for an apology! Just because one posts on this site does not mean that one is idle or has no life. Moreover, if you pay close attention to the original question (which some other posters did not do either), OP did not say he/she was looking for people here, he/she was just asking a question, and indicated clearly that he/she wants to look in the "real world" by excluding churches.

My humble experience has thought me the following:

- [When we were working expats in numerous countries] Expat circles bored me stiff with their shallow conversations on salaries,perks,how long they've been there,which year they expected to be transferred and where, children's plans and SATs or UCAS for college back at home, holiday plans for Xmas,Easter or summer,comparison of local McDonald's with that in another country,local American Women's Club (to have the female version of the same),bla bla bla.

- Couples without children were difficult to be friends with,due to completely different sets of activities and responsibilities that we had then with ours.

- Locals were out of our reach,because we were short-term residents living behind an invisible (sometimes visible) wall.

- Seeing colleagues or their families outside the workplace was total disaster. It did not form bonds, it destroyed the relationships at workplace.

Now we live in Belgium as former working expats currently in semi-retirement. We're in our early 60's. Children live abroad. All of our friends here are Belgians(locals) between 55 and 85 years of age. We have many,many things in common with them. Local news, local concerts, world affairs, short day trips by car, tea chez nous this week, coffee chez eux next week,etc.etc. All those things that are NATURAL,SIMPLE,and PLEASANT when done without pretence and with REAL PEOPLE.

I can only recommend to you and wish for you the same.

@OP : I feel exactly the same way!

I recently turned 30 and find that I am at that point where I value a few close friends who are deep spiritual and beautiful (on the inside) people that I can sit and really TALK TO for hours, MUCH MORE, than the petty party bitches who have something nasty to say about everyone, and yadda yadda.

I've lived here for 5 years and I don't want to dissapoint you, but I've only come across 2 of those GREAT friends in my 5 years here, and neither of them I met at clubs, or groups, but randomly - literally one in a restaurant, and one through a room mate of mine.

I think its just luck of the draw... If you exude the right energy, you'll attract the right people... My theory is, to get out there nad meet as many people as possible. 99% of them arnt of any interest to me, but its worth it for the 1% you will meet!

Why don't you start your own social group of some kind to get started... let me know when and where you meet!

:)

My wife and I made a webpage, check it out and if it's of any interest let us know, go to : http://All4Webs.com/p/n/soulcharger/home.htm

Chris