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Kids and new person in my life....
Good day one and all,
I bit of an awkward question but here goes.......
I have separated and live on my own and I see my children at weekends....
I have met someone new in my life of recent and all is well & swell !!! ;-)
My new flame in my life lives at distance and we met-up on regularly. My new flame is aware that I have children and is ok with the fact the they are seeing me, etc. We manage our lives so to speak.
My question is when is the “ideal” or “appropriate” time to “meet the kids” ?
This is something that is a bit of a concern to me as I do not want to rush too soon.....
They are aware that I am seeing someone else and have seen my talk and use the usual smartphone forms of communication but I do tend to call in private.
I have photos of my new partner and I am thinking about not having them on display as it could not just create curiosity with my children but there are other matters attached.
Guidance and thoughts appreciated!
Thanks !
Why the assumption that I am married?
Now I wonder if you think what gender I am?
Mmmm 21st century?
What if I am a woman and my new flame is a woman?
But what if I am a man and my new flame is a transsexual?
Mmmmm
Worth pushing the boundaries of thoughts no?
You can only be separated if you're married.
Ok “separated” is a very easily and common used term.
I was not married just cohabitating. No legal agreement Made which I know is odd but There is no more this than I have said.
I spare you the gruesome details.
I would suggest that at 3 months the relationship is still too new to introduce the children. Life is complicated for your children, let them be the focus of your weekends together. Let the new relationship develop further, you have time.
I agree with those who said it is too early and suggested about a year. My perspective is that as long as you look at your new potential partner as a new flame, it is too early.
Ok so you have a teenager whose currently experiencing puberty and also the break up of the parental unit married not married same sex whatever it’s a lot for them to have to cope with full stop.
As before what do you mean meet? Go to the cinema, bowling, dinner, camping?
I think it’s fine to respect your old partners privacy and expect the same. Have your children been curious if you’re dating? If they are is that because your ex is asking them is mummy/daddy seeing anyone?
Also if you only have limited contact why would you wish to impinge on that parent child time by adding a new flame into mix?
I would suggest take it slow you know your children are you asking a bunch of strangers to validate you introducing a new romantic other so you can feel better about it? I would suggest you listen to your own instinct about timing and be very careful what you do who knows how it will affect your children and your relationship. Ultimately these are your children and they should come a head of any new partner in your priorities
Whatever you do be open and truthful to your children, to yourself and others. Comforting fact is that today many children and parents/partners have this situation.
Have patience and handle with care and don't rush things!
Introduce everybody very slowly, step by step. Don't rush these delicate matters.
If you google it you'll find lots of articles and opinions of professionals. Most recommend to think about an introduction once a relationship is serious, whatever that means, but think about if it is a relationship that could be permanent, you don't want to introduce your kids to a string of partners, especially since you have the time without the kids to spend time with the new person.
Good luck
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