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Chip on my shoulder
I am from a European country and have an American manager whom I unfortunately don't get along with. There are a lot of reasons for this, but one is that he says really bizarre things to me. Recently he told me, 'I've noticed, you seem to often have a chip on your shoulder. I looked at him in bewilderment and told him when? He couldn't answer, so the subject was quickly dropped.
Does he in all seriousness think that I go around the office with a Dorrito on my shoulder????? I am wondering to be honest if my Manager might have a mental health issue - I mean, why would he say such a stupid thing
My question is, if you are concerned about a superiors mental health, is there somewhere in Belgium(eg. a Union, or governmental agency) that you could raise this concern with?
This is not a one off, also once he told me, You are too big for you boots. I mean, come on? I do not wear boots to the office.....
Unless this is a joke and you are putting us on here are some explanations:
Having a chip on your shoulder is an expression which means that you often react aggressively to others .
Being too big for one's boots means that you think you are more valuable/important/necessary than you really are.
As hard as it might seem, I suggest you ignore all the comments or take them as a pinch of salt. As long as you get paid then don't worry and just continue to do your job.
You can raise concerns with his superior, but make sure the concerns are legit and/or not ridiculous and/or not something that's difficult to prove.
He isn't crazy or deranged. It is apparent there is a communication problem. He is using English expressions that you don't know/understand. Maybe he is doing this because he knows you won't understand and wants to irritate you or maybe he is doing this because he assumes you know these expressions. Being he is a manager I would let this go and not make a big deal out of it unless he is constantly harrassing you. Then you should go and and report him to his superior. If you go to his superior and complain about what you just stated here the superior probably won't do much about it. If the man was seriously threatening you and/or verbally abusing you and you have witnesses then of course something should be done. Loads of people don't care for their managers, but it is up to you to stay professional and ignore these trival things especially if it isn't happening everyday. I don't know the other reasons why there are problems between you and this manager, but maybe you should try to work on fixing them if possible? If there is no working things out with this manager, maybe try to focus harder on the work and not him? If he can't find fault with your work then tune out these silly things he says and just don't respond.
"Does he in all seriousness think that I go around the office with a Dorrito on my shoulder?"
Have you considered it is possible the he is serious. Take a breath and think about it. When was the past time you had potato chips of dorritos for lunch for example? Is it possible that you aa bit messily and got some of the food on your shoulder?
Perhaps your boss was just trying to be helpful without embarrassing you in front of your team by brushing off the food from you shoulder?
ON the issue of boots, sometimes it can be difficult to differentuiate between a shoe and a boot. Do your shoes come over your ankles? If so, they could be considered a boot, even if they don't look like one. Either that, or you you just have really fat legs and feet, which is fine, bit you'll just have to live to learn with it.
Ask HR if they think it's OK that a manager used that sort of language to you. The guy clearly doesn't like you and is using inappropriate language towards you.
I had not commented earlier as I thought this might be some idea of a joke.
I disagree with J. However there might be a problem you could take to HR.
The main problem on evidence submitted is that you work for an English speaking company with very poor knowledge and command of English.
You have no understanding of idiom and common phrases, as such you might easily take offence at normal linguistic interactions.
He's not being friendly, but whether he is right or wrong in his assessment, what he said cannot be described as inappropriate.
If I said to someone at work "you are too big for your boots" or "you have a chip on your shoulder", both those expressions are threats. It is not appropriate for a manager to use such language to a subordinate.
It is not appropriate to make threats to a co-worker. There are laws against this. The french term is "harcellement moral". The company MUST be aware of this because it has a legal liability to look after your welfare at work.
Report it to HR.
I presume this is a wind up but if it isn't then calling your boss crazy is a serious aquasation maybe it's just cultural difference in approach but maybe you're overstepping your role I would ask for a meeting to find out how you can work better together or look for another job
