From Antwerp to global stardom: Ex-Madonna dancer tells all

In 1990, pop icon Madonna came to global attention with her raunchy Blonde Ambition tour. Featuring the provocative song “Like a Virgin” and simulated sex, the concert-series outraged conservative groups and led to calls for a boycott from the Pope himself.

Accompanying Madonna on stage were seven male dancers, six gay and one straight, including then-20-year-old Salim “Slam” Gauwloos from Antwerp.

In Strike a Pose, a Dutch-Belgian co-production by Dutch directors Ester Gould and Reijer Zwaan, the six-surviving dancers meet 25 years after the global tour to compare battle scars. One of the key revelations is that three of the dancers, including Gauwloos, were HIV-positive before the tour, but kept the information to themselves.

Homosexuality was still a taboo in many western countries in 1990. Infection with HIV/AIDS was considered a death sentence. These factors influenced the lives of each of the dancers and the choices they made.

The individual stories are told by the dancers themselves. In the case of Gabriel Trupin, who died of AIDS in 1995, his mother, Sue, takes over. The testimonies are moving and show how the tour – such a high in their lives – subsequently led to long periods of depression and struggle for some of the dancers.

For Gauwloos, the difficulties of life off stage only ended when he came to terms with his HIV status and with the help of his partner. “In the end, we all found someone who put us back together again,” says Gauwloos. “Except Carlton. We need to find someone for Carlton. And Madonna of course!”

Life has taken many turns since his atypical childhood in Antwerp’s Borgerhout district. “My dad was a Muslim from Morocco, but my parents separated when I was young, and I grew-up with my mum who was very free-spirited,” says the former dancer who now lives in New York. “I dressed up in her heels and clothes from the age of five.”

When Gauwloos (pictured) turned eight, his father moved back in for a few years, so the clothes and the collection of Barbies had to go back in the closet, and “I had to become more of a boy again”.

Following Nadia Comăneci’s perfect performance at the 1976 Olympics, he began dreaming of following in her footsteps and took up gymnastics. “I was into everything girly – I even did baton twirling,” he says. “With that, my lisp and my migrant looks, I experienced a lot of bullying in school. But I survived, and the experience shaped me into who I am today.”

Gauwloos believes he was very fortunate to have been raised in a house with an open atmosphere. “When I turned 13, my mother enrolled me at the Royal Ballet School in Antwerp, and my whole life changed. I met lots of gay and international students, and the school became my sanctuary. I would leave home an hour early just so I could get a good place at the barre. I was very driven.”

At 18, Gauwloos and his friend, Heidi Daelemans, went to nearby Schoten, where the renowned New York-based Steps on Broadway dance academy was holding auditions. Out of 2,000 candidates, they were both selected and found themselves arriving in New York in June 1987.

Pivotal moments

After the two-month course, Daelemans headed home to take up a position with the Royal Ballet of Flanders. Alone in the Big Apple, Gauwloos began studying different types of dance and took up to three classes a day.

Towards the end of 1987, he began experiencing some health problems and returned to Belgium for a check-up. “They treated me for a kidney problem, and I recovered,” he recalls. “Then, the day before I was to fly back to the US, the doctor called me back to the hospital and told me I had HIV.”

The infection was a result of Gauwloos’ first sexual experience. “My whole world caved in, but I buried my emotions in dance. I thought to myself: Not everybody dies. Dance gave me something to hold on to.”

Gauwloos returned to the US, moving between New York and Houston, Texas, where he began choreographing for the Delia Stewart Dance Company.

In early 1990, he saw an audition notice for Madonna’s Blonde Ambition tour. “It was one of those auditions where you think, ‘I don’t know if I should go for this,’. But you take on those jobs. Dancers will understand what I mean.”

Hidden secrets

The audition was a swift reminder that he wasn’t in Belgium anymore. “It was a cultural shock,” he says. “Madonna was in the room for every audition. There were people crying because she was there, with many giving her presents. That kind of thing was very foreign to me.”

About a week later, the phone rang. “Madonna called me at home and asked if I’d like to go on tour with her,” Gauwloos recalls. “Two weeks later, I was in Los Angeles rehearsing.”

Despite Madonna’s pro-gay message, Gauwloos and the other two HIV-positive dancers, Gabriel Trupin and Carlton Wilborn, kept their health situation to themselves. “Nobody wanted to face it,” he says. “I wouldn’t have talked about it even if I thought I could confide in Madonna, or if the other two had confided in me. The power of denial is very strong.”

Unaware of their HIV status, Madonna performed with the three dancers for a cover of the song “Don’t Be Silly”, with the lyrics, “Don’t be silly, put a condom on your willy”.

In Strike a Pose, a new documentary on the legacy of the Blonde Ambition tour and follow-up film Madonna: Truth or Dare, Wilborn expresses regret at not speaking out about his HIV status at the time. For Gauwloos, keeping his health status out of the public sphere was never an issue.

Ground-breaking kiss

“I wasn’t faking it,” he says. “I was just being myself. Getting AIDS didn’t fit into my programme. I still don’t want people to worry about me. Dancing has kept me healthy and has enabled me to forget myself.”

The wildly successful tour led to the 1991 release of the behind-the-scenes movie Madonna: Truth or Dare (known as In Bed with Madonna outside of North America). The film became an instant hit, particularly in the gay community. In one scene, Gauwloos is dared to kiss Trupin – a challenge he readily accepted.

The passionate kiss was one of the first between two gay men to hit the big screen. Gauwloos still gets letters and emails from people whose lives he changed because of that kiss. “In 1990, there was no social media or internet, so it was revolutionary,” he says. “I understand its importance now. But we didn’t know it then, we just wanted to kiss.”

When Blonde Ambition came to an end, it hit the dancers like a hammer blow. Most lost their way, turning to drugs, alcohol, and partying. Gauwloos was no exception. “I lost everything, even my tour jacket.”

He took up modelling and dancing, but work was hard to get without legal residency. He had also never undergone treatment for HIV since being diagnosed with it years earlier. “I worried that if I sought treatment, I would be deported back to Belgium,” he says. “But what would I do there?”

Not stopping

In 1997, the power of denial ran out, and Gauwloos ended up in hospital with bacterial pneumonia, an infection that had a 99% death rate among AIDS patients at the time. “Lying in bed, I saw the staff wearing these protective ‘space suits’,” he says. “I remember thinking: ‘This is for real now’.”

After three weeks, Gauwloos was discharged and given medication which has helped to keep him well ever since. “It surprised me that there were so many private organisations that took care of people in my situation,” he says. “Even if you didn’t have health care, they would look after you.”

As he slowly got better, he still had no official papers. Then, in 2000, he met Argentinean photographer Facundo Gabba. “I fell in love with Facundo, and he fell in love with me. He has helped me to get my life together – legally and otherwise.”

Gabba gathered evidence of Gauwloos’ life in the US, including articles, photos and videos. “We presented everything to a lawyer who told us that my HIV status would make it tricky,” Gauwloos explains. “The lawyer said there was only a one percent chance of success. It took about two years, but in the end I received my green card.”

He now works as a choreographer and teacher. With his partner, he divides his time between New York and Buenos Aires. He also continues working with some of the other dancers from the Blonde Ambition tour, but won’t divulge details. “Madonna can have her secret projects, so why can’t we? Strike a Pose won’t be the last time the world hears from us!”

Strike a Pose releases across Belgium on 29 June. Photo courtesy Salim Gauwloos